Legacy Matters: The Lost Art of Dying

The Lost Art of Dying

In the Guardian, Ash Wednesday: The Lost Art of Dying

But art-house cinema and the Catholic church are two of the very few places where death remains part of the public conversation.? Elsewhere, death is camouflaged by fluffy euphemisms like "passing away" or "falling asleep", or otherwise approached with detachment through the scientific discourse of medicine. Long before the present government dreamt up its latest reforms to the NHS, death itself had been culturally privatised.

These days, if we are asked how we want to die, we generally say that we want it to happen quickly, painlessly and preferably in our sleep. In other words, we don't want dying to become something we experience as a part of life. This would have made little sense to generations past. For centuries, what was feared most was "dying unprepared". Death was an opportunity to put things right. To say the things that had been left unsaid: "Sorry", "I was wrong", "I always loved you". We used to die surrounded by our extended family. Now we die surrounded by technology, with a belief in medical science often replacing the traditional puzzle of human existence.

A culture that keeps death out of sight and mind is one that is increasingly lost for words when comforting others in their grief. Instead of having that important conversation in the supermarket with the lady down the street who has lost her husband, we slip down the next aisle with the self-justifying thought that we do not want to disturb her

As a hospital chaplain administering to the dying you learn a lot about life and human dignity

At various times I have acted as a hospital chaplain or as a visitor at a hospice (sadly this is something I no longer do) and this has brought me into contact with a lot of people who were in the process of dying. You learn a lot about life and human dignity when you are with the dying. All of them, without a single exception, were people who died calmly, peacefully, indeed, serenely and happily, which was wonderful to see. I remember the very first dying people I ever visited in hospital: they were the sort of people who cheered you up with their radiant love of God and neighbour. It is some decades ago now, but I still remember them, and I particularly remember the way they so devotedly received Holy Communion in their hospital beds. Having known them gives me great existential confidence.

I really do not mind dying, or the prospect of death, having seen so many people go through it so happily. All I want when I am dying ? I suppose I had better mention it just in case people don?t take it as read ? is the presence of a priest, who will administer Holy Communion (if possible) and the Sacrament of the Sick. And I also want to hear the prayers for the dying, particularly the wonderful words of the Final Commendation, along with the Apostolic Pardon.

In case you do not know them, the Prayer of Commendation goes like this:

Go forth, Christian soul, from this world
in the name of God the almighty Father, who created you,
in the name of Jesus Christ, Son of the living God, who suffered for you,
in the name of the Holy Spirit, who was poured out upon you,
go forth Christian soul.
May you live in peace this day, may your home be with God in Zion,
with Mary, the virgin Mother of God, with Joseph, and all the angels and saints.

Posted by Jill Fallon at February 23, 2012 9:45 AM | Permalink

Source: http://www.estatevaults.com/lm/archives/2012/02/23/the_lost_art_of.html

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